This is such a broad topic, I think a series is in order! Who’s with me?
Introduction
Most of us have a family member, or more than one, that we have an unhealthy relationship with. We may feed off of each other’s negativity, or constantly be in conflict or seeking conflict with each other. We may take advantage of them or be taken advantage of by them on a regular basis. Families are a fantastic breeding ground for these kinds of relationships; they don’t call them “dysfunctional families” for nothing.
Unhealthy and dysfunctional friendships are easier to manage. There’s a degree of separation present with a friend that doesn’t exist when you’re dealing with a family member. It’s possible to cut friends out of your life, or give them terms they have to agree to in order to stay in your life. Family, on the other hand, is much more permanent. Cutting a family member out of your life is technically possible, and I know people who’ve done it with varying degrees of success. But it’s a much more complicated thing to do. You can’t just cut one person out, unless the entire family makes the decision to do so. Others will have to go with that person, or you’ll still be forced to interact with them on some level. Wanting to cut your aunt out of you life is all well and good, but what happens when you go to Thanksgiving dinner at your mom’s house and she’s there?
With these considerations in mind, I advise you to try to manage the relationships you have; heal or repair them as best you can rather than discard them. Keep in mind, though, that nothing and no one in life is perfect, including you, so you need to treat the people in your life accordingly. You can’t expect them to be everything you want them to be, and you have to accept them in spite of their perceived imperfections. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself alone.
So how exactly CAN you manage these unhealthy relationships and bring them back to being simply imperfect instead of totally dysfunctional? That’s what I’m going to explore in this series about unhealthy family dynamics.
Articles In This Series
- Recognizing An Unhealthy Family Relationship
- Clear Communication For Repairing An Unhealthy Relationship
- Change Yourself to Change a Relationship
- When to Shake Some Things Off, and When to Let Go
The links to the articles will go live as the articles are posted. Is there anything else you want to hear about? Let me know and I’ll try to include it.
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[...] may already realize this, or you may have never thought about it, but our relationships with other people are directly related to all aspects of our health. It’s hard to have healthy, happy [...]