Positive Thinking versus Ostrich Thinking

In the interest of euthanizing the fluffy bunny that’s been residing on this blog, I want to clarify what I mean when I talk about “positive thinking.”

For the skeptics:  I don’t mean to stick your head in the sand and pretend everything’s okay.

For the believers:  I don’t mean to stick your head in the sand and pretend everything’s okay.

photo by {link:http://www.flickr.com/photos/wwarby/4915793804/}wwarby{/link}

We’re not talking about denial here.  More like realism with a smile, and smiles are good for you.  The doctor told me so.  (okay, maybe the doctor didn’t tell me, but he did tell about.com, and they told me.  So THERE.)

In the past, I’ve talked about positive thinking and how it can help your mental health and your general happiness.  And I meant what I said.  However, if you take it to excess, it’s just as bad for you as negative thinking.  Only more obnoxious and not nearly so hip and edgy.  The terminally negative have that brooding mysteriousness to them.  Bubbly ostriches just make you want to be one of those terminally negative to spite them.  Or maybe strangle them.

But you don’t have to take every train wreck at face value and mourn it.  Acknowledge the bad part, then try to figure out if there’s any good you can salvage from the mess.  Maybe a lesson of some kind, or at least some spare, undamaged parts.  Maybe a way to keep from making the same mistake twice and having another train wreck in six months.  That would be positive, right?

If life hands you lemons you don’t have to make lemonade.  Just do SOMETHING with them.  Throwing them in the trash is wasteful and stupid.

I guess what I’m saying here is to do your positive thinking in moderation.  As long as you do it sometimes.  Because I have a secret for you: people don’t really like the constantly negative people any more than the obnoxiously positive ones.  If anything, they like them less because they’re such a drag to be around.  The occasional positive statement will keep your friends from not inviting you to parties.

On the flip side, here are some clues that you might need to turn down the positive thinking:

• Are you avoiding things that make you feel bad instead of doing something about them? Avoidance as a coping mechanism is fine if things are really out of your control and you’ve done all you can to fix a bad situation.  But being positive isn’t pretending that things are okay when they’re not.  That’s just dumb and counter-productive.
• Are you completely satisfied and happy with your life, as is, with no desire for growth or change? Wanting things to be better than they are is a sign that you’re alive.  It’s good to be happy with your life, but you should always be able to visualize improvements and have goals.  Happiness and positive thinking isn’t being the pot smoker who lives with his mom at age 40 in the tv commercials.  (yes, I know those are wildly inaccurate and misleading, but we’re not talking about that right now.  Just get my point, take a breath, and move on.  We can tear into misleading marijuana propaganda some other time.)
• Do you feel “fake”? Feeling fake usually comes along with coming across as fake to other people.  Not good.
• Do you never feel bad? Never feeling bad is a pretty clear sign of denial, and a great way to start screwing up.  There are bad things in life, and you should experience and accept them before you let them go.

Being positive all the time will make you seem ignorant, unintelligent (not the same thing), and blind.  And being negative all the time will make you unlikeable.  So try to be positive sometimes for the sake of your friends and family, if not for yourself and your own happiness, and try to be negative sometimes because, let’s face it, since it’s so easy and prevalent, evolution must have put it here for a reason, right?

… I had a pithy statement here to close with, but it sounded too trite (and stupid) to leave in.  Feel free to insert your own (and tell me what it is in the comments so I can steal it and use it next time).  I WILL include my standard closing questions, though.  Why not?

What are YOUR thoughts on positive thinking?  Are you a skeptic or believer, or somewhere in between?

**By the way, I never completely understood the ostrich as a symbol of being fearful and in denial.  I mean, yeah, they do the head in the sand thing, but they’re also mean sons of bitches.**

Related posts:

1. Changing Negative Thinking – Why Bother With a Positive Outlook?
2. Overriding Negative Thoughts: The First Step Towards Positive Thinking
3. The Key To Self Confidence
4. Everyday Happiness
5. Thinking In Absolutes